I wrote my life story this week. I listed important events, people who have influenced me, and environments in each segment of my life (pre-school, elementary years, jr & sr. high, young adult, young married, young family, career years, growing up years, and the present). It really helped me define some of the reasons for my negative emotions and hurts. It made me appreciate so many people who encouraged God's gifts in my life along the way. It gave me an clearer understanding of why I am the way I am now. It showed me what characteristics I want to cherish...and which ones I want to change...and can change.

My life story time line was one exercise in creating what goals I want to steer towards now...and what boundaries I need to build to protect those goals.

Facing our pain, rather than running away from it, makes spiritual growth and emotional well-being possible. That's what I'm going to do...grow and become healthier!!! Remembering to be grateful for the good parts of our life gives us more to praise God for!

I'm glad I made my life time line.

communicate your life

Dr. Keith Ablow, MD and Psychiatrist, says, "Putting words to one's unspoken, buried emotions diminishes their power to wreak havoc with our bodies."

Talk it out...write it out...type it out....whatever it takes to communicate your feelings, emotions, sorrows, joys, hardships, challenges, projects.....release the stress with words!

Take a break...100 ideas!!

66. decorate your house for the season
67. e-bay shop
68. find a picture of your "blissful place" and make it visible
69. Make a Christmas wish list
70. Make your own CD of all YOUR favorite tunes
71. write a newspaper editorial
72. Read a joke
73. Watch a you-tube funny
74. Daydream what you would do if someone gave you $100,000
75. Hang sheets on the clothesline
76. Join a club
77. get a fountain drink rather than a can of soda
78. campfire/put a fire in the fireplace
79. birdwatch
80. play with your pet
81. chase an airplane search light
82. do stretches every 60 minutes at your desk
83. build a snowman
84. set off your own fireworks
85. Zoo
86. plan a neighborhood scavenger hunt
87. have your holiday meal catered
88. karaoke
89. High school theater/comedy club
90. art museum
91. hire a housekeeper or lawn mower
92. start a collection: coins, butterflies, postcards
93. watch family slides/videos
94. Go through family albums
95. Go through your parent's family albums
96. find treasures in your yard with a metal detector
97. color a picture: crayons, markers
98. make a big pot of chicken noodle soup
99. talk to your neighbor over the back fence
100.Get a water massage at the mall

take-a-break ideas (continued)

27. Enjoy a cup of tea
28. Light candles...with scents
29. Get a fountain drink
30. Get together with church friends...outside of church
31. Leave the household chores undone
32. Turn up your music
33. Dance
34. Send the kids to the neighbors for a while
35. Call your adult kids who have moved away
36. Cook a comfort food that brings back "Mom" memories
37. Campfire
38. Stargaze
39. Skygaze...take deep breaths of fresh air
40. Nap during a storm
41. Sit on your covered porch during the rain
42. Walk in the rain
43. Smell the rain
44. Fly a kite
45. Pedicure
46. Lots of lotion all over your body
47. Garden
48. Pull weeds (and pretend it is someone's hair!!)
49. Have someone else wash your hair
50. Relax by a waterfall or fountain
51. Bird watching
52. Go to the library
53. Read a book in the shade
54. Take a cool shower on a hot, humid day
55. Visit a local greenhouse and "smell the roses"
56. Visit the "tourist attraction" of your city
57. Organize your purse
58. Organize a closet
59. Write a "snail mail" letter to a friend/or to brighten anyone's day
60. Put a treat/note of encouragement in the mail box for the mail carrier
61. Pack a picnic for a park
62. Sleep in late
63. "Hide" at a movie theater (Don't tell anyone where you are)
64. Buy a new "feel-fancy" night gown
65. New hair style

Well...off to work again....and then Mike and I are taking a BIG break and getting out of town for 2 days! Can't wait!!

Lost blog entry

I think I lost a blog entry?!? I was trying to get a list of 100 ways to take a break. We all need to take daily breaks. I'll try to re-create the list...starting with comments from Nathan, who had good ideas:
1. Find a simple recipe and enjoy shopping for the ingredients as well as cooking
2. Take a hike and stop often to enjoy the flowers and scenery
3. Write a song and/or poem
4. Write an encouraging note and hide it for a stranger or friend to find
5. Take a nap
6. Sit on your porch or in a lawn chair in your yard
7. Shop
8. Find a new hobby
9. Join a club or class to learn something new
10.Give yourself time everyday to enjoy a hobby
11. Call a friend you haven't gabbed with for a while
12. Write a letter to a friend
13. Send yourself flowers
14. Do a random act of kindness
15. Read a chapter in your book
16. Turn off the TV for an entire day
17. Try not talking for one hour
18. Turn off the cell phone, house phone and MP3 player
19. Soak your feet in a sink full of hot sudsy bubbles
20. Try new make-up
21. Sort your takle box or tool box
22. Go fishing
23. Bike ride
24. Get behind your camera and take pictures
25. Find a care-giver pen pal
26. Watch a movie with a big bowl of popcorn
...Time to go to work....will continue again.....

Favorite new book

I got the book, "The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl Richardson. I think this might become my favorite book of all time! I'm only on page 5 and I've had to re-think some of my unhealthy behaviors! It isn't going to be easy making changes in my thought-process...but I think it is going to be very good for me. Isn't that the way it always is?!?! The best things in life generally take a lot of hard work!

First workshop

Yes, Beth!!! That counts for journaling!
I had my first Rescue the Rescuer workshop tonight. I really enjoyed care givers of many types sincerely searching for healthy care giving techniques.
I did, however, sell myself short! One person in the workshop asked if all the sessions were only based on the one care giving experience I shared (Mike's 2007-2009 depression). I came home and "journaled" other caregiving experiences I've had:
--Raising 3 sons
--Mike's 1990-1991 bout with depression
--children in my day care
--my pre-school and kindergarten students
--my father during his last year
--my present employees
--patients who come to our clinics
--my grand-daughter and our children when we weren't sure she would make it
--church families that we pastored
--small "Bible study" groups we have mentored

Care giving comes in short-term and long-term
Sometimes there is one issue of care giving...sometimes many issues at one time

No matter what...the same principles apply to care giving. Tonight we learned the first principle: communicate. Let others who you can trust know the truth about what is going on in your life. Don't be afraid to share your real self.

Bears and Packers and brain freek

The Bears and Packers are playing. Mike spent the weekend at school. I spend most of my weekend writing workshops about caring for caregivers. Very relaxed. I anticipated that Mike would be home about 7pm, and wanted the house clean, candles lit, pizza baked so he could come in, relax, and watch the game. Well, a movie came on TV at 5pm that I got interested in. I knew it would be over by 7pm...so all was good....until Mike got home early. He is sooooo much changed and healed. He showed interest in the movie and was happy that I was enjoying it.

However...my brain freeked out!! I unexpectedly had a flashback to the early days in our marriage where he would walk in and turn the channels to find the football..without consideration of what I was watching. Then my brain bounced to the co-dependent era where I did whatever Mike would want just so he wouldn't be unhappy...and get depressed. Then my thoughts jumped to how grateful I was that Mike was happy that I was enjoying something. These emotions bumping around in my head all happened in a matter of 2-3 seconds. I could hardly take it. I went out on the swing to cry. Then I felt better!!

This mini-event reminds me that when you don't take care of yourself while you are caring for others, it takes a long time of consistent self-care before your brain figures it all out!

I hope, if you are a caregiver, you are taking care of yourself as well.

Getting more real

A friend told me to relax and just "blog" on my blog!!! Why am I doing this? My husband went through severe depression (again) for 1 1/2 years. I made it through! However, when my husband got better...I crashed! What was that all about? It was hard for me to find help and answers. I have since learned that I gave so much as his caregiver...without taking care of myself...that my body and mind and emotions were empty and dried up and I was crying for help. It is taking me a while to get my healthy self back. I just thought I would write about some of my learning experiences so someone else might be helped. I have actually put together 10 support group sessions that I will be leading in September-November. I want to share that information on my blog as well...to see if I have what it takes to help caregivers be healthy themselves. That's my story for today....

I'm adding a new passion to my life and want to share it with others. Recently I found myself feeling used up, drained, empty, in a pit without a way out. I was burnt out from years of giving to others without caring for myself. I still wanted to give to others, but found myself unable to. Something was wrong. I needed help. I am finding out how to take care of myself ...the right way...so other demands no longer suck the life out of me, but rather, rejuvenate me. I am making changes in my lifestyle so I can get back to enjoying care giving. This will be my healthy care giving journal. There are many readers out there with tips to help me. Please share them. I hope some of my findings will help you, too.

My First Post

Thank you, Becky Lynn, who showed me how to blog. Thank you, family and friends, for guiding me to my new passion. Thank you, Diana and Scott, for naming my new passion, "Rescue the Rescuer."